Thursday, April 19, 2007


OK, on a brighter side, I thought I'd add some humor to your day. But first an apology for my self-obsessed, 'woe is me', statement from yesterday. I realize that a lot of people have it harder than me. I mean, even just this last week. It's almost overpowering how much sadness there is all around, from people I don't know and people I do. So, this post now is to make you laugh, even for just a little.

As I mentioned, I picked up John Leguizamo's Pimps, HOs, Playa Hatas, and All the Rest of My Hollywood Friends. It's not usually the type of book I read. In fact, I picked it up for my sister. But in an effort to distract myself on the subway last night, I thought, why not pick up this shiny new book?

I was in tears last night, that's how funny this book is. And I'm sneaking in reading it while at work and trying my best not to laugh, as there is nothing really funny about my job presently, and I didn't want to have people getting suspicious when they heard the unfamiliar sound of laughter permeating the hallways of Crapco.

So here are a couple of excerpts. I am only on page 95 so far, but these stood out.

John is talking about how a lot of filming of New York scenes are actually going on in Toronto nowadays, because NY is so expensive to film in. (And by the way, he hails from Queens, so is a true Noo Yawkah!) He talks about the friendliness of our neighbors to the North, and more specifically, about Toronto.

"It's a cool city. Hip, but clean. And everybody's polite. That's one way you know you're not in New York City. You bump into someone on the sidewalk in Canada, it's like a contest to see which one of you can apologize fastest.

'Oh I'm sorry, eh.'
'No no, excuse me. My bad, eh.'

It can go on for an hour. No wonder hockey's the national sport. They need to get out all that pent-up aggression somewhere."

And here's another one. John did an awful movie (he agrees!), Super Mario Brothers, starring himself and Bob Hoskins. In the movie, Hoskins has a Brooklyn accent. But, and I didn't know this, Hoskins is actually from England. A cockney. Or is cockney just the word for the accent? Here is their very funny exchange, off-camera, of course.

"I followed him to his trailer and stood in the doorway, wondering what a mild sensation was. He filled two shot glasses with scotch and handed one to me.

'Well then,' he toasted, lifting his, 'past the heath and out yer Khyber.'
'Could you repeat that in English?' I said.

He sighed. 'Past your teeth and out your Kyber Pass. Your ass. Gor, you're a right berk, aren't ya?'
'Um, if you say so,' I shrugged.

He was always doing that, talking that Cockney rhyming slang. After a while I figured out that a mild sensation meant 'libation.' I never did figure out what a berk is, but I decided I was insulted."

Well, anyway, this book so far has brightened my day. Hope it made you smile too.


Kelly-Jane said...

'I never did figure out what a berk is, but I decided I was insulted'

That is so funny!


Anna's kitchen table said...

Ilana sweets, we all get down days, don't apologise!
But even your down day sounds like a fab day out! LOL


Paola Westbeek said...

Haha! That sounds like a funny book! I bet it would take me back home in a jiffy! BTW, doesn't he have some Colombian background??